Gathering with Sheikh Abdullah bin Abdul Rahman al Ghudayan

Gathering with Sheikh Abdullah bin Abdul Rahman al Ghudiyan

(October 14, 2007)

Note: From the first day of Eid, Sheikh Abdullah al Ghudiyan –member of the senior committee of scholars in Riyadh, Kingdom of Saudi Arabia- has agreed to sit with the Western brothers and sisters after Salat al Isha, answering various questions and lending beneficial advice. The following is a quick translation of October 14th gathering.

Question #1: What is the meaning of the principle: The origin (ruling) of all (worldly) matters is permissible until proven forbidden?

Answer: This principle with the wording mentioned in the question is not correct. The correct principle is: The origin of beneficial (worldly) matters is permissible until proven forbidden, and the origin of all harmful (worldly) matters is forbidden until proven permissible.

An important matter should also be known, and that is this aforementioned principle does not apply to two cases:

The origin in matters related to relations with a female (sexual) is forbidden until proven permissible (marriage contract, etc)
The origin related to meats (beef, chicken, etc) is also forbidden until proven permissible. This is because a Muslim is not allowed to eat meat that has not been slaughtered according to our legislation.

Question #2: The Messenger –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- mentioned in a hadith that whoever touches his private part, then it is upon him is to perform ablution. Does this apply to the person whose privates are touched, and the individual doing the touching, and does this include the rectum, and what is the correct opinion regarding one touching these body parts with desire, or without desire?

Answer: If one touches his/her private part, weather with desire or without, the ruling is the same, it breaks the wudoo. This is the ruling for the individual doing the touching, and not the one being touched (meaning: if one’s private part is touched by other than himself, this does not break that person’s –the one being touched- wudoo). This ruling also applies to the rectum.

Question #3: Is it permissible to continue in a marriage relationship where one spouse dislikes the other, but he/she remains in the marriage due to the children present between them?

Answer: Marital relationships have rulings, just as other relationships have rulings, for example, the relationship between a servant and his Lord, a servant and himself, and a servant and other human beings. As for a marital relationship, each spouse has his/her rights, some rights are upon him/her, and other rights are due to him/her. What is incumbent is that each spouse fulfills the rights that are upon them and seek what is due to them. One should not refuse to perform his/her obligations, nor should one seek what does not rightfully belong to them. This (marriage) is a relationship governed by Islamic rules and regulations.

With regards to a spouse disliking the other, the reason for this dislike should be known and made aware of. At times this reason is poor dealings between husband and wife. A man may possibly dislike the treatment received by his wife, or the opposite. It may also take place that a husband dislikes his wife due to her deficiency in Religion, for example she does not pray or fast, or (even worse) she commits adultery and allows men to enter her home at the absence of her husband. In this case, it is legislated to divorce her based on her un-Islamic actions, in fact, it is not permissible to stay with her.

The Messenger –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- clearly stated the criteria for seeking a wife and a husband. He said: “If someone approaches you (guardian of female) with good character and religion, then marry (to your females). If you do not, there will be much evil and corruption spread.”

He –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- also said: “A female is married for 4 reasons, her wealth, her beauty, her status and her religion. Look for the pious female, and may you hands be filled with dust (may you be successful).”

The Messenger –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- in these two narrations has informed of what and individual should look for in choosing a spouse. He made religion a criteria in both hadiths. Therefore, if the dislike present between husband and wife is based on religious reasons, it’s possible that the best and only solution is divorce.

On the other hand, if the aversion is related to poor dealings between to spouses concerning (sexual) relations or problems related to service within the home, then these problems can be solved. Some females are never satisfied, they always seek more and more, and some men have the same character, nothing satisfies them, but these sort of problems can be cured.

So in summery, (most) problems related to individual rights can be rectified. Some men seek to impose their masculinity upon their wives. I have heard that some men only approach their wives (intercourse) after beating them severely!

Another type of aversion may be caused by an outer force. This is (usually) categorized into three types:

That which is caused by magic.
That which is caused by demon (jinn) possession. At times, female jinns possess (human) men and cause them to dislike their wives. Male jinns also possess (human) females and cause them to dislike their husbands.
Aversion caused by evil eye (al Ain). The Messenger –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- said: “Indeed al Ain is true, and if anything was to proceed decree, it would be al Ain”

I was told of a man marrying a particular female and not having the ability to have relations with her for 12 years. They lived a normal marital life except for this issue (sexual relations). This trial was finally lifted when the person that placed the evil eye on the husband finally died, and after that, this couple lived a normal marital life.

So in summary, the outer elements that possibly create hatred between a husband and his wife are 3:

Jinn (demon possession)
Evil eye (al Ain)

The last type of aversion is one created for some unknown reason. There is nothing present of the above mentioned factors except that the spouses simply dislike on another.

The point that I wish to make is that, in general, the reason for such dislike, hatred of aversion should be known (in order for a rectification to occur). And by saying so, if rectification is possible, then this is what is befitting, but if not, then there is no problem in seeking a divorce.

Allah stated in the Quran:

{If discord is feared between them (husband and wife), then seek a representative from his side, and one from her side. If they (husband and wife) desire rectification, Allah will give them success} surah al Nisaa:35

He (Allah) also stated:

{If a female fears discord and disagreement from her spouse, there is no problem in them seeking reconciliation} surah al Nisaa:128

Question #4: Is it permissible for an individual to perform Hajj on behalf of his deceased father? Before death, the father had intentions of performing hajj himself but this did not transpire.

Answer: Hajj can be categorized into three categorizes:

That which Allah made obligatory upon His servants.
That which a servant made obligatory upon himself by way of fulfilling an oath. (i.e. if Allah grants me such and such, I will perform hajj)
That which is made obligatory due to invalidation of a previous hajj. For example, while one was performing a voluntary hajj, he/she annulled it by having intercourse during the state of Ihram. If this takes, place an individual must make expiation and repeat the hajj in the future.

What seems apparent from the question is that the person is referring to the first type mentioned above. It is permissible for a person to make hajj of behalf of his/her deceased relative, it is also permissible for he/she to make hajj of behalf of a living relative if that relative is unable (physically) to perform the hajj themselves. If one intends to perform hajj on behalf of a living person, he/she must first seek that person’s permission. This is because all actions must be coupled with an intention. Therefore, it is permissible for one to make hajj on behalf of a deceased person, and it is likewise permissible for one to do so for a living person with the above mentioned condition (permission).

Question #5: There is a situation of much discord between a father and his children. Most of what causes this discord is due to worldly affairs sought by the father from his son which the son finds difficult to accomplish. An example is, the father orders his son to resign from his present low paying occupation, and seek a new occupation that pays more. The father also interferes in his son’s marital affairs. What advice would you offer to the father and his children? May Allah bless you.

Answer: Justice is from the principals of Islam. Allah states in the Quran:

{Indeed Allah orders justice} surah al Nahl:90

It is also mentioned in a Hadith al Qudsi:

“Oh My servants, indeed I have made oppression forbidden upon Myself, and I have made it forbidden amongst you, therefore do not oppress”

Based on this verse, and this hadith, the dealings of the father toward his children, and the dealings of the children toward their father must be in accordance with the aforementioned verse and hadith. It is not permissible for the father to use a staunch approach in dealing with his children, nor is it permissible for them to use this approach with dealing with their father, indeed this would be considered oppression.

As for his (father) interference in his son’s marital affairs, there are specifics that must be clarified. If this interference takes place due to deficiency in the wife’s religion, for example, if she drinks, or commits illegal (sexual) crimes by allowing men to visit her in the absence of her husband, or dating, etc. Or if she has abandoned prayer and obligatory fasting, or commits (major) acts of shirk, then it becomes obligatory that the father interferes in his son’s marriage. This is because the father will be questioned about his responsibilities, and his child is from the responsibilities that he will be questioned regarding. The Messenger –salAllahu alayhi wa salem- said:

“Everyone is a shepherd, and everyone will be questioned concerning his flock”

But if the wife is in fact righteous, then the father has no right to interfere in his son’s marital affairs. Some people wish to impose their opinions upon everyone, weather these opinions are correct or incorrect, but this is not permissible for one to do.

It should also be known that if the father orders his son with something forbidden in the Religion, it is not permissible for the son to obey him. This is because there is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to The Creator, but if the father orders the son with that which is permissible, the son must obey him.

In summary, both the father and his children must abide and submit to Islamic legislation in dealing with one another.

Question #6: What is the best manner of performing the Aqeeqah (slaughtering in celebration of a newborn, does one distribute the meat, or cook it themselves, and can this be done in a country other than the country the child is born in?

Answer: The Sunnah, as it relates to the Aqeeqah, is that the meat should be divided as follows:

A portion of the meat should be distributed amongst the poor and needy.
The second portion should be distributed amongst family members and neighbors.
The third portion should be eaten by the members of the house of the newborn child.

With regards to the country where the distribution should take place, according to the Sunnah, this should take place in the country where the child was born.

These were the questions and answer presented to Sheikh Abdullah bin Abdul Rahman al Ghudayan on October 14, 2007. May Allah reward the Sheikh for giving his valuable time in service of Islam and the Muslims.

May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon His Messenger Muhammed, and upon his family members and companions.


Posted on September 28, 2012, in Fatawas / Questions To The Scholars, The Scholars and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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